Pixel Me Silly: Culture Training

A little culture for the Rolas at the Auckland Philharmonia Orchestra Free Family Christmas Sing-along Concert. Friday 5/12/2008.

With "extra" family in the background (Kulet...).

MacArthur Park is melting...

... in the dark
All the sweet, green icing flowing down
Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don't think that I can take it
Cause it took so long to bake it
And I'll never have that recipe again

Oh.... NOOOOOOOOOO!

Once again I've turned gay for a day, but I don't careee (shut up fool!!). Last night was the dress rehearsal of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert (The Musical) and I lurveeee it (lurve it, lurve it, lurve it!). You should see it while its here, medyo mahal lang tickets ($80 cheapest). Hah, suwerte ko talaga, I get paid to see it (I lurvee this job, now only if it can feed the family, hayy).

Performance photos not mine.

Like WWRU, meron ding bonus para sa mga pinoy na manunuod. Inde ko sasabihin, I won't ruin the surprise (See it!). Nice job with the self portrait btw., (nakita ata ang tutsang ko ah). That's co-ushers Kiwinoy Pauline, adopted pinoy Caroline.

And finally, my date for the night...




... Mommy Herma, dyaran! Bonga diba? Hehe. I stayed with Mommy Herma and her daughter's family when I first arrived in NZ. Kung sabaga adopted son (Thank youuu!!!). Hay salamat kay Lord na maski nag iisa ako dito, eh hindi pa rin talaga ako nagiisa (gets?).

State of tiredness

I'm so tired.

I'm so tired all I can think of is being in a state of tiredness and stare at the screen thinking of....

Nothing.

This week was absolute Hell at the office, with monthly reports at its deadest-deadline. And I've been working shows almost every night. And there's the chores, which I'm proud to say I've developed a system (Like washing clothes before taking a bath, so you can hang them while the chicken's cooking in the oven-- Multi-task!). I barely did chores back home, and thank God man invented the washing machine. Imagine if we had to do those by hand.



I also ushered/worked yesterday and today, which means my work week never ended. And it doesn't help that it's MONDAY in less then 2 hours!! I missed a f&%k$#% good sunny weekend which is expected to become rarer with winter coming.

That must be it. I feel awful because I can feel winter coming and it's getting colder and colder. Bring out your thermals and bonnets boys and girls, Jack Frost is coming. Gaano kalamig dito? Read this.

And he can see no reason

'Cause there are no reasons

What reason do you need to be shown
Tell me why - I don't like Mondays

Tell me why - I don't like Mondays

Tell me why - I don't like Mondays

I want to shoot

The whole day down

Filipino English: The Mr. & The Sir

Ok, pagkakataon ko na to make things right. Doing the Samoan play Where We Once Belonged today at the Concert Chamber Town Hall, and I was told manonood nanaman si Auntie PM..

Tuny: [Ayan na sya! Inhale...] Good evening Mister Prime Minister.... [NAKUPO! Tanga!!!! Bumawe ka! Bumawe kahh!!]

MP H. Clark: Oh... Hello good evening, how are you today?

Tuny: [Hay salamat inde ata nakahalata] I'm very good Sirestemam! (Ulk! Wahh!! Kase naman eh!!!)....

MP H. Clark: ???

Tuny: Uhhh [Esep-esep]... You may come in now...

Nak nang puting sheep naman, hahaha, kainezzz. Nataranta ako ehhh. Kung inde matupad ang mga bilateral trade agreements natin with NZ, kasalanan ko na po yun! Huhuhu!

Kase naman kamukha naman talaga eh (di bah??).

***************


Totoo po yan, pero kung inde kayo natawa, listen to this:

Updated: St. Paddy's Day in CBD

I love the Irish. The green, leprechauns, and the cool Gaelic accent and slang:

- Top O' The Mornin' (Good Morning!)
- Begosh and Begorrah (Used like "By GOD!")
- How-ar-yah!? (How are you?)
- Shiver-me-timbers...

Errr.. not exactly the lasy one, but they do talk like pirates to my ears.

March 1 was St. Patrick's Day, patron saint of the Ireland. Took some photos of the parade in Queen St. That's just one of the benefits of city living, just walk out of your appartment, and you're right in the middle of the action.

The gray building on the far right (with a tower) is The Mighty Civic where I work part time. If you want to see it from inside, watch King Kong tonight (it's the theatre where Kong was presented and escaped from after he was caught).

To be a good belly dancers must mean having a lot of belly. Ang lalakas ng loob (Mga girls sa Pinas, rejoice! Pagdating nyo dito payat na kayo, hehehe).



I dunno what the Japanese and Chinese have in common with St. Patrick or the Irish that they were in the parade, but they did look pretty. Oh! The clock tower on the background is the Auckland Town Hall, where I also work part time. Go here if you want to see the APO or the NZSO (pronounced N-zed-S-o).

Bag pipers!
Cute Irish girls in traditional dancing garb. The curly hair is actually part of the costume.

Not part of the parade, but saw this Japanese busker doing some serious music. He's really impressive, sounding like a whole orchestra (Hanep!).

Same with this stringed duo doing The Corrs. Kaingit noh, papasa kaya ang banda-rito-banda-doon talents ko dito? Makabuo nga ng sarili kong band (Me kilala ka bang expert sa garapitik and tyan-bol)?

Naalala ko tuloy yung mga tugtugan namin sa Sampaloc 10 years ago nung member pa ako ng Knights Choir sa San Roque Parish Church (We looked shockingly the same like etong mga tambay below. Hay, the life we left behind, ka-miss noh?).

Ang sarap sanang maging bida
Sa sariling kong pelikula
Ninja, kumakain ng bala
Magaling sumayaw parang john travolta
Ka-love team ko ang lahat
Nang magaganda at seksing artista
Kissing scene kay aubrey miles o
Angel locsin

Libre lang mangarap
Walang hanggan na pag-hiling
Libre lang mangarap
Managinip ka

Hintuturo, Coffee Everyday & Toto

Kuwento lang sakin ni Lenny, at meron nang konting imbento (konti lang):

Sa isang pinoy gathering, nagkatuwaan at ti-nest nila ang Filipino language ni Bianca, anak ni Lee na lumaki na dito sa NZ.

Lenny: Ano sa English ang... Kasaysayan?

Bianca: History!

Lenny: Galeng... eh... Lambat!

Bianca: Net!

Mariz: Galeng talaga ah... Ako naman. Eh ano sa English ang Hintuturo?

Bianca: Ah!! Hintuturo??? I know that! I know that! Hintuturo... Oh!
Stop Teaching!!

****
My sister, Jenian, umoorder sa Starbucks:

"Uh, one coffee-everyday-please!" (one coffee of the day please!)

****
Naku, inde na pala pwede magdownload ng MP3 sa Multiply. San ko na ngayon ido-download ang hit songs ng Toto like Hold The Line, Rossana, Africa at Georgy Porgy ...

Yes mga kapatid, tratrabahuin ko ang Toto this Sunday. Inde tribute band ha, yung orig mismo, straight from the retirement home, hehehe (nakuuu.. sana sa loob ako ilagay).

Manlove

Pow-pow-padadada-duh-duwaw-waw...

Alright...

Val introduced me to Boston Legal last year, and have been hooked ever since. The wit, the characters, the humour, the fast lines...



... and Denny Crane.

"You know what I'm going to do, Brian, just to show you there are no hard feelings? I'm going to sleep with your wife."

''You hear the one about the fella who died, went to the pearly gates? St. Peter lets him in. Sees a guy in a suit making a closing argument. Says 'Who's that?' St. Peter says, 'Oh, that's God. Thinks he's Denny Crane.''
--'From Whence We Came'

''Denny Crane. Denny Crane. Denny Crane.''
--Talking in his sleep, 'Gone'

Yeah-yeahhh...
Click here for more Denny Crane wisdom

But what I love most about the show is the relationship between Denny and Alan Shore. The holding of hands, the crying on shoulders, the comparing of "notes" in the toilet, the midnight scotch... It's all plain and simple Man-love. And don't mistake Man-love for homosexual or heterosexual love.

Manlove is the celebration of being men and what we're good at. Like the slapping of behinds after a foul shot, or flying chest pumps after a strike. It's the meeting of knuckles, the fancy handshakes, a manly bear hug, or tandem spa treatments...

... or maybe not. I still get squeemish holding another man's hand, or sharing a sauna with naked blokes. I once jumped out of the pool when Geoff dove in wearing skimpy trunks (Feeling ko kasi nakadikit ako sa water na nakadikit din sa blue trunks nya, hence kuryente, hehehe).

And what are Man-love turn-ons? Watching Boston Legal (which I hear has the same effect Ally McBeal had on some women I know). There's also admiring a sexy two-piece, such as this sultry, delicious...

... Canon 400D, or a heart-pumping, groin numbing....


2008 Specialized S-Works Epic Mountainbike (Sigh). And finally, nothing turns Man-love on more than a professional demonstration of...

... Kung Fu. Worked the Shaolin Monks last week at the Aotea, and got to see them do some really cool man-stuff, like bend spears with their necks, smash concrete slabs while laying on spikes, and swing at each other with sticks and swords.


[Btw., this post in not, in any way, a lame attempt to get people to buy me the right b-day presents, although mine was last Thursday... Consider this as a suggestion... Ehhhmmm, hehehe]

Chinese English: Weshisdatoyle!

Habang nagbabantay sa pintuan ng ASB Theatre working the immigrant's Spring festival, me matandang lumabas ng pinto at lumapit sakin:

Old woman: 廁所在哪裡？

Tuny: Eng??

Hayy, eto nanaman tayo, dahil ba Asian ako eh i-assume bang marunong akong mag-chinese??? Gusto ko sana sabihin ang alam ko lang eh Wo ai ni (I love you) kaso baka bigla naman ako sagutin, yari tayo dyan. Wala pa namang kasamang bata. Kadalasan kasi yung mga apo't anak nilang 5-6 years ang translators nila, dito na kasi nagschooling.

Old woman: (lumapit sa mukha ko at dahan-dahang...) Cèsuǒ zài nǎliiiiii?

Tuny: Ha??? (Ewww.. ang bango hininga) I'm sorry I don't speak Chinese...

Old woman: Weshisdatoyle... (Naiinis na, at parang napapa-jogging ng konti)

Tuny: Esmyuskee???

Old woman: WEH.. SHISDAHH... TOYLETTTTT!!!

Tuny: Ahhh, whaydidntyasaysoh... There oh! (sabay turo)

At papano ba naman kasi ito nakarating dito sa New Zealand, eh inde marunong mag-english?? Eh yung ibang kabayan natin maski magaling, nahihirapan pa rin dahil sa IELTS.

Uy inde ako anti-Chinese ha, infact eh 1/4 blood dahil kay Lolo Pedro +. Inenroll nga ni Pam si Julia sa Chinese school at minsan suspetsa namin kumakanta ng Chinese pag inde namin maintindihan (ayos, pag andito na si Julia isasama ko sa trabaho para silang mga bata na lang magusap, hehehehe).

Sa Zoo..

A Samoan visiting Auckland Zoo asks the Keeper what the cage around the animals were for.

Zoo Keeper: "They're there so we can protect the people from the wild and dangerous animals."

The Samoan started laughing to pieces. Both puzzled and annoyed, the Zoo Keeper asked why.

Samoan: "Oh, sorry, it's just in Samoa, they put cages around the animals to protect them from the people."

Sino ba naman inde matatakot sa mga ito, eh ang lalaking mga mama nito. Pati mga babae nila para kang kakainin ng buhay. Pero wag kayo maintimidate, kasi despite their size eh gentle and friendly naman sila. They're the my second fave Pacific Island people, next to Nuiens.

I grabbed that joke pala from the Laughing Samoans' Crack Me Off show I did tonight at the ASB Theatre. Ang cu-cute nila, lalo na yung mataba. They reminded me of The Reycards Duet.




Speaking off the Zoo, Kiwi Pinay took me along their company's Christmas party at the Auckland Zoo. Ala eh, libre na pasyal, libre pa pagkain (yahu).

Thanks Kiwi! (Kung me Chinese New Year Party kayo, sama uli ako haaaa..)

When Fake is Great

What do you do when you find out that you can't be what you want to be, even though you know you're good enough?

Simple. You became an Eagles tribute band.


The Real Eagles


The Fake Eagles

When asked if I'm an Eagles fan, I usually say no. That's until I realized na many of the songs I like are done by by them, like Tequila Sunrise, Desperado and The Best of my Love(Inde eto yung ineesip mo noh, kundi etoh).

That's why I was really excited to work The Eagles Experience-Hotel California concert at the ASB last Saturday, by a tribute band from Australia. Some people actually demanded their money back when they found out they weren't the real ones. Ganun dito eh, konting kibot lang eh refund na (samantalang satin "Eh kasalanan mo yan baket di mo binabasa mabuti poster???"). One even barked at me (as if me kinalaman ako sa kalokohang ito), on how ripped-off he felt. Aysus, di ba niya naisip na nung bumili sila ng NZ$49 front row "orig" Eagles concert, eh para syang nakabili ng Levis sa presyo ng Bunny Jeans.

Pero after the first song, Hotel California, na-impress ang mga tao(pati ako). Napasayaw ang buong venue at meron pa ngang nag o-old man dance (yung tipong isang kendeng sabay palakpak dance, pero huli lagi sa beat). They sang good, played their instruments well, and even took off their wigs at the end, as if mocking us "kala nyo haaaaaa...."

So, I'm an Eagles TRIBUTE Band fan now, but only until I get to see the real one. True Eagles fans may cringe at the thought, but hey, ika nga ng idol nila eh take it easy and enjoy it like a really good karaoke (at least they sing well, not like these fakes).
--------------------------------

Oy! Speaking of fake, kinelangan ko ng costume sa party namin sa Edge last Friday! Meron akong mga idea eh, like ito, ito or ito. Kaso ala tayo nun eh. So nag-improvise na lang ako.

Hinukay ko yung...

Suit na ginamit ko sa kasal sa Tagaytay (na ginamit ko din dati nung me job interview ako dito sa Auckland)...

... baril-barilan fom The Warehouse (NZ$4). Kainis baril ng cowboy lang nakita ko. Pero wag ka, me kasama pang star ng sheriff yan.

At hat (NZ$9). Ano ang objective ko na kakalabasan?

Hopefully ganito. The Las Vegas Mob (oh di ba!). Problem lang eh yung revolver ko eh pang cowboy (at me star na pang Sheriff pa nga eh, hehehe). Effective kaya? See for yourself and let me know.

Da Edge Event Services/Ushering Gang

Medyo napamura ako dito, hehehe

Sino mas guwapo (sige magkamali ka babarilin kita!)

Eddie Peregrina with the girls.

Eddie P. with the REAL girls. Maniwala ka, Duty Operations Manager ko yung asa
kaliwa (na hawak ang security. Sabi sayo eh).

We also went to Karaoke after (look at the weird Filipino with the tamborine!)


Look at the big-ass remote(ga plato!). At ang screen ay hugeee (alang sinabi IO)!

Floating Around.. In Ecstasy...

Uy... May package...





Wo-hooo!!! At ang ganda ng bigote, parang si Rico J.

Dilemma:
- Pano ko kaya magkakasya sa 25 kilos ang maleta kong punong-puno na ng Cabury?
- Pano ko mapapabilis ang next 6 days?
- Ano kayang una kong kakainin pagdating sa Las Pinas (hito, ginataang suso, laing...)?
- Makikilala kaya ako ng kids?

Julia far left, nangongopya...

First Christmas party ni Julia nga pala kanina, at nag-perform (song and dance) ng English AND CHINESE songs. Oh diba, talo pa ako, eh ang alam ko lang eh...

- Qing da jia jiu zuo, yan chu ji jiang kai shi (hurry up the
show is starting!)
- Jin zhi pai zhao (no photos please!)

... na nagagamit ko pag me Chinese shows dito.

We're so proud, kasi nung umalis ako eh ni hindi sya bumibitaw samin sa mga childrens party, at ngayon nagsasayaw na sa stage. Sana paglaki nya, magmana sa akin at maging na total performer din.

Hay super dami ko nang nami-miss. First baby steps and b-day ng twins, first day sa school ni Julia, anniversary namin ni Pam. Pero it's OK, going home nanaman in 7 days, 9 hours, 45 minutes and 11 seconds... 9 seconds... 7 seconds...

Tonight I'm gonna have myself a real good time
I feel alive and the world it's turning inside out
Yeah! I'm floating around in ecstasy
So don't stop me now don't stop me
'Cause I'm having a good time having a good time

Fijian Engrish: Croatian

Asked to usher a play last Friday. Was being briefed by the duty operations manager, Jamal, on how to handle the event. Jamal's Fijian-Indian by the way, and a bit difficult to understand.

Jamal: So Ants just make sure that if there is a Croatian, lead them all out of the door.
Tuny: Uhh... (Tama ba dinig ko??)
Jamal: Are you OK mate? Croatians are easy here, just make sure they don't come back inside.
Tuny: (Huh? Ano ba ito, tinawag na akong langgam, eh napaka-racist pa!) Errr... OK, whatever you say, but how do I know if they are Croatians?
Jamal: What do you mean? If you hear the fire alarm and see the emergency lights switch on, there is a Croatian....
Tuny: Ahhh.. You mean an Eva-Croatian...
Jamal: Yeah, why? What did you think???

Err, wala (Nyark-nyark-nyark...)

From Queen to Queer

I missed the big staff party last Sunday.



That's WWRU stars Mig Ayesa and Talia (yung nakalabas ang braso, inde yun si Marimar ha) with some of my ushering mates. It was the last show, and they gave out free drinks. He was signing a poster on the floor infront of Starks, and everyone just piled on him (Kung andun ako eh ako sana ang nasa gitna). I dropped by pero ala na si Mig (sayang pinagmamalaki ko pa naman na KC kami).

Well that's alright. After working 18 shows, I think I'm cured of my WWRU addiction. I can remember almost every friggin line (All I hear is this screaching, banging, thudding noises, help I need somebody, help, no just any...).

So pretty happy to be doing different shows again. Although not everything was as good.


Friday was Peter Powers, the hypnotist. He hypnotized people to do "crazy" things. I bet some in the crowd were not legit, but his actors. I overheard someone say that while she was on hypnosis, she rememberd everything she was made to do, but just didn't care. Sounds more like mass hysteria than hypnosis. Ika nga ni Scaramouche, "Sounds like BULL shit to me!"





And from a Queen tribute, I did Queen of the Whole Universe, a fundraising "beauty pageant" sponsored by the NZ Aids Foundation that stars drag queens. Someone told me before that 50% of the men in NZ is gay. I think most of them were there last night.

Must say I wasn't really impressed with this queer one. I bet the shows at the Amazing Philipines Theatre are much better, and the "girls" prettier. Btw, konting chika, meron din akong nakilalang mga gay Pinoys na volunteers (dressed as waiters at namimigay ng condoms like hor’s douvres). Excited na daw sila sa after party at hipuan galore daw doon. And true enough, nagkalat daw ang mga used condoms sa mens toilet, at nagyuyugyugan daw ang mga kotse sa parking lot. At oh, natalo pala yung Miss Philippines (who was Miss Imelda Many-shoes last night).

Reminds me of this photo.

And speaking of yugyugan, worked Joss Stone Sunday(which is why I missed the WWRU party). If you closed your eyes you'd think she was a black singer. She's really good. And hot. Someone dancing in the isle even came up to me and asked "I'm a woman but I think she's hot, don't you think so?"

I could only respond by nodding my head and swaying to the song.

Can't think of anything to do

My left brain knows all of love is fleeting

He's just looking for something new

I said it once before but it bears repeating

Oooh oooh oooh...

I Wish I had a Taiko

I learned three Japanese words today.

Irashaimasu: Welcome
Hayakusiro!: Hurry up!
Taiko: Drums

I worked "Hashima Taiko With Many Hands" today at the ASB. Its amazing how they beat those drums, parang Kung Fu ba, especially one Japanese girl who was jumping up and on her way down, smashed them drums with her clubs. It was raw power and pure sound that reverberrated off your spine. It was like rolling thunder, and when they stopped, even the silence felt powerful.

Galing. Asan na ba yung planggana dito sa flat...

Under Pressure (We Will Rock You)

Me hilig na term ang mga Kiwi na bagay sakin ngayon: Full On.

Ibig sabihin eh busy, or in the zone. In my case, eh di na ako magka-uga-uga sa dami ng ginagawa. Imagine my M-F, 9-6PM job at idagdag mo ito.


Kaya nga ngayon lang ako nakapagdeposit ulit sa fishbowl(thank God it's Saturday!). I've been regularly blogging pala ha, inde nyo lang nakikita.


Jurassic muna tayo. Bumili ako ng notebook sa $3 Shop para nakaka-doodle-doodle pa rin. I'm not complaining. Alam kong kikita tayo dito(mucho dinero paguwi sa December, humanda ka Cebu lechon, yahuuu), at I'm enjoying the pressure.

Speaking of pressure, siguro you've notice my ushering job sched na tadtad ng We Will Rock You(hanep sa segway noh? Hehe). It's the London musical featuring 21 hits from Queen, all knit together using a loose plot(Read it here). Twice ko sya tratrabahuin today (same bukas). Memorize ko na ang script, at napanood ko na sya from all angles. Nagsasawa na nga ako eh... NOT!



Oh, it's the best show I've worked so far since Fiddler on the Roof. Rakrakan to the max at napapa-shoulder-bang nga ako pag bumirit na ng Another One Bites the Dust at napapakapa ng lighter sa Bohemian Rhapsody.

And proud to say me Pinoy sa cast. Mig Ayesa, Rockstar:INXS runner-up and pamangkin ni Loren Legarda, stars as Galileo Figaro. Medyo taas nose nga ako nung una (baka kasi isnabero, hmp!). Pero nung kinamusta ko eh ang sagot "Avahh, eh keveveyan pala etoww."

Cool.. Startstruck at feeling close sa celebs ang lolo nyo, hehehe. First name basis na nga kami eh, at panay ang kuwentuhan namin ng Filipino. Syempre mangha ang mga kasama ko, panay ang tanong kung ano kuwentuhan namin. "Oh, nothing, you know me and Migs, we're like that (sabay pakita ng magkadikit ng pointy and middle finger, hehehe)."

I love the songs. Nagdownload na nga ako ng songlist at fave ko is Those are the Days. Naalala ko kabataan ko when I didn't have resposibilities and just didn't care. Akyat ng bundok dito, explore doon. Miss ko tuloy ang mates ko sa Sierra. Well, I'm just happy I did it while I could.

And fantasy ko ang maging isang Rockstar. Sabi nga nila Lenny, dapat kinuha ko Comm Arts, inde Journ. I'm a person who wants to be seen, to perform, do crazy things. I love to entertain and make an audience laugh. I wear colourful shoes and a green t-shirt that says John en Marsha. I want to do a stage dive, be caught, and brought back on stage. To make people dance and have them forget their deadlines and insecurities. Kaya siguro enjoy ako sa show na 'to kasi feeling part of the cast ako(abah. wa-ko care ako pag naghe-headbang ako sa Somebody to Love maski me hawak ako flashlight, hehe).

Friends, watch the show if you have time (or disposable income). Bili kayo ng murang ticket at ililipat ko kayo sa harap kung matyempuhan nyo ako. Just remember lang na the storyline is lousy, but secondary to enjoying it. It's not a play, but a concert where you're all invited to sing along, and bang your heads.

[Mig pala enters from door B of the Civic at 9:35PM in the middle of the show, so you have a few seconds to have a fan pic... Bring your little Filipino flags at sama ako sa picture ha!]

Playing in my mind now

I'm here in secret harmonies...
It's a kind of magic
The bell that rings inside your mind
Is challenging the doors of time
It's a kind of magic

The day the geeks got the chicks

Naku po! Nagkalat ang mga geeks sa Queen St. Normally nagtatago sila sa kanilang mga kuwarto nilalaro ang kanilang mga Thundercats, Batman, Star Trek or Transformers na laruan, or nangongolekta ng anime or X-men comics. Pero that weekend, it was cool to be a geek.

Ket? Kasi it was the Armageddon weekend.

Pero wag ka, pag sinabi mong "geeks" eh hindi lang yung mga stereotype dudes na overweight na nakasalamin, or yung nakatrak-suit na napapanood ko noon sa Revenge of the Nerds. Me nakita rin akong mga cro-cross over Marilyn Manson disciples, complete with eyeliner, stud belts at creepers (nagpagawa ako nun sa recto eh, hehe )

And since ginawa sya sa Aotea Square, where I do part time work, libre entrance ko. Abah, mahal sya ah, $15 a ticket. So kasama ang aking asian posse, ni-raid namin ang Armageddon. Syempre hindi ako papatalo, nag-costume din ako. Gusto ko sanang dumating as my favourite pinoy heroes, like Jovit Moya, Jojo Alejar, Ed Broson or JC Bonin, kaso baka hindi nila makilala.

Me dressed as my favourite pinoy super hero, complete with pang-taga ng lechin

Goldilocks? Grettel? Mary had a little lamb? Malay, pero katakot sha ha...

Watching the cosplay competition (The Joker & Harlequin), at the Maori Princess Leah

Naku po, Mang Tomas-Man, hari ng mga sarsa, caught eating smelly Filipino food.. Hups!!

Mang Tomas-Man uses his greesy reflexes to turn the tables... Anak ng..
The Chinese guy is my friend Jack (Jack??? Anu ba namang pose na yan??? Pang That's?? Hehehe)

Zombie: Arrrrrr, you smell like liver sauce, bangu-banguuuu (Of course jack posing again).


Pillow fight at the ASB Theatre stage! Andyan po ako s gitna nakikipagbakbakan (Hahahaha, kayang kaya ko pala upakan ang mga Maori "Sige! Magsumbong na kayo sa mga tatay nyo! Umm! Harharhar)

Ulo ng mga katrabaho ko pang ushers (Tsk-tsk-tsk.. Are all Filipinos like himm???)

Filipino English: Huy!

While ushering Cinderella, by the Royal New Zealand Ballet, I was asked by the Front of House supervisor of the ASB Theatre to usher Hellen Clark to her seat. Instructions were she will be sitting on row R, and her security behind her on row S.

Usher Tuny: Good evening Prime Minister...
HC: [Inde nakikinig, chumi-chika. Malapit na kasi election eh].
Usher Tuny: Prime Minister, this way please...
HC: [Not listening, at pumasok na lang bigla sa row S]

Usher Tuny: HUYYY!!!!!
HC: [Napalingon]

Usher Tuny: Err.... Hi Madame Prime Minister, the next row
please.

Buti na lang inde naintindihan, baka ipatapon ako nito sa kangkungan, hehehe.

Homer, kilala mo ba yung usher na na Huy sakin? How rude...

My new idol. Yu Tamayaka, principal dancer of the Royal New Zealand Ballet, and

plays Cinderella in the latest production.

Nagkaballet-ballet

I've started enjoying the ballet.

What?????

Sabi ni kuya "Akin kah, boy"

I did two shows this week. The Festival of Russian Ballet, featuring the Imperial Russian Ballet Company, and Cinderella, featuring the Royal New Zealand Ballet.

Watching them you saw they were two entirely different animals. The Russians exuded arrogance and umph. Para bang "Um, p-ina nyo tumabi kayo dyan, iikot ako dyan." They did a combination of the world's best programmes such as Don Quixote, The Dying Swan, Giselle, and my favourite, Bolero.

Ang Royal New Zealand Balet naman eh parang "Weeeee, umiikot ako!" Then again it was Cinderella. They did some changes to the Disney story I know, such as instead of rats and horses, they used crickets and butterflies. I guess its hard to imagine a rat and a horse dancing.

So how did they compare? The Russians were way better. And sexier (Grrrr). Shocking Asia nga lang pag yung mga lalaki na naglulundag(nasa harap pa na naman ako). It was just out there, and kita mo kung baluktot ang pagka-tuck in (nasusuka ako...).

Manson & Bernstein

What do Marilyn Manson & Leonard Bernstein have in common?

Absolutely nothing :)

Trinabaho ko last night ang concert ni Marilyn Manson at the Town Hall. Yes, ang bahay ng Auckland Philharmonia Orchestra at ng Opera ay sinugod ng mga punk, bogans, head-bangers at kung ano-ano pang mga strange creatures na naglabasan sa kanilang mga butas. Ika nga ng mga Kiwi, they came out of the woodwork!

Nagkakandarapa nga ang mga gunggong sa harap ng pinto ko, nagmamaka-awang makapasok para makapwesto sa harap. Akala naman nila matatakot nila ako sa mga mowhawk, eyeliner, facial piercings at mga tatoo nila (Ang lalaki kaya ng mga Maori security sa tabi ko, hehe).

Well hindi ko sila masisisi. Andyan kasi ang panginoon nila eh.

Images from Stuff.co.nz

Naku po! Pak-syet! Yeahhhh! Um! Um! Um! Naalala ko tuloy yung NU107 days ko. Pero in fairness, mababait sila at masunurin ha, maski kalahati sa kanila sabog at lasing. Kapagod nga lang at twice nagka-evacuation kasi tumunog ang fire alarm.

Today naman I just came from the Aotea Center and worked the Auckland Philharmonia's Vero Series, one of their lighter shows, featuring popular works like Webber and and Bernstein. No Beethoven and Vivaldi tonight. Kung mukhang mga demonio ang nanood kahapon, ngayon naman eh mga mukhang zombie.

Ket? Kasi po mukhang ang pinakabatang nanood eh 134 years old.

Inantok ako sa 1st half, pero after the interval they played Bernstein's West Side Story and Khachaturian's Sabre dance. Exciting (A-choo! Totoo po, hehehe). I'm sure ma-re-recognize nyo yung last. Palagi kasi itong nalalagay sa soundtrack (Yung tipong pag nagkakagulo na ang mga bida sa pelikula).

Why blonds ruled

I was called in to work "Some Like It Hot" at the Civic Friday evening, a classic, 1959 BW film that starred Jack Lemmon, Tony Curtis and Marilyn Monroe. It was shown as part of the Auckland Heritage Week. Read the plot here.

Did you know that it was named by the American Film Insitute as the Greatest American Comedy Film of All Time? Tony Curtis was his usual debonaire self, and Jack Lemmon was the man that left everyone in stitches. Think Owen Wilson & Ben Stiller, but with much, much more class (I suddenly think that's not even a fair comparison).

And Marilyn Monroe... I've never seen her films before this, and wondered what's all the mystery around her.

Now I know why.

The two chicks on the left are actually Tony Curtis & Jack Lemmon

She epitomized the dumb blond that every man wanted to sleep with. Maybe she was, and that's why she was so convincing playing the ukelele-playing Sugar Kane. I wonder if she really sang as well as I heard on the film.

I also can't believe this was the 50s, kasi for the entirety of the movie, eh bra-less po sya. Look at the spotlight, it never went down her chest, pero I'm sure 99% ng mga nanonood eh doon nakatingin.

Inde masagwa ha, unlike when Alma Moreno danced bra-less at aalog-alog sa Loveli-Ness (my gulay, ano bang mga pinapanood ng nanay ko sakin nung bata ako, hehehe).

A night with Deepak Chopra

I worked "A Night With Deepak Chopra" yesterday. I was at the door, but got to peak in once in a while to listen to his pocket jingle full of knowledge (and more), buying the Civic a full house.

His principal themes combined science, medicine, religion. He shared his thoughts on evolution, intelligent design-creation, and recipes for peace, love and healing. I heard a quote that night "The path to learning is in remembering." Para syang advise ko sa mga bagong break "You can never forget, only not remember."

Naks, hehe...



The ticket prices ran as high as $200, the cheapest about $50. The books he sold outside was about $35 each. Hmmm... la lang :)

Once in a lifetime

What makes an experience once in a lifetime?

Seeing a full lunar eclipse today, 30 minutes ago. I honestly don't remember seeing one in my lifetime in the Philippines(could it be that the air is so much cleaner here?). It's gone all red.

Watching The Royal Shakespear Company and Ian Mckellen perform King Lear on stage last Saturday at the ASB Theatre. There were two thousand people watching, and with all honesty, you could hear a pin drop in the last 5 minutes. They were amazing. He was amazing.






And listening to Bob Dylan perform at The Civic last Sunday. What excited me more than listening to him was watching him. He is the Bob Dylan... (~Houwrrmanyrrrroadsmmmurstwalrrrr...~).

I honestly don't remember a word he sang, but nobody cared.

So cool.





Three once-in-a-lifetime experiences in one weekend.

These are the days when I feel so alive.

Style...

Although maganda ang The Seagull, its an incredibly long play. As in 1.5 hours ang first half, at 1.25 hours ang 2nd. Habang tumatakbo ang eksena, hindi ko maiwasan na antukin. Ang init pa naman sa pwesto ko, so halos mawalan na ko ng malay.

Isip ni Tuny: Ahhconcentratewagkamatulognakakahiya-
sakatabimoogisinggisinggggOOOORRRKKKK!!!
Katabi ni Tuny: ???? [Napatingin]
Tuny: [Naku poooo] Errr.. Ubo-ubo! Singhot!

Nangyari na ba sa inyo yung tipong nakaidlip ka, tapos nagising at nagulat ka sa sarili mong hilik? Kaasar, hehehehe.

The Seagull

Nagusher ako kanina sa production ng Royal Shakespear Company, The Seagull by Anton Chekhov. Grabe, nakakalungkot sobra, napa look-up nanaman ako.

It's about Nina, na nagmahal kay Trigorin, pero ginamit at binasura ang puso nya. It's also about Konstantin, kababata ni Nina at nagmahal sa kanya ng lubusan. Hindi tinanggap ni Nina ang pagibig nya kasi mahal na mahal pa rin nya si Trigorin.

Umalis at pumunta sa malayo si Nina para makalimutan si Trigorin. At sa huli, nagpakamatay si Konstantin, kasi hindi nya natanggap na di para sa kanya si Nina.

Click here to read a summary of the story.

Universal talaga ang mga tema ng puso, kahit anong lahi, edad or kasarian ka. Ilan na ba sa atin ang umibig sa isang taong may minamahal na iba? At ilang kanta na ba ang natinta na ganyan ang tema?

Naalala ko tuloy itong kanta ni Edgar:

Halaga

Ang dami-dami naman diyang iba
Wag kang mangangambang baka wala ka nang ibang makita
Na lalake na magmahal sayo
At hinding hindi nya sasayangin ang pag-ibig mo

Minsan hindi ko maintindihan
Parang ang buhay natin ay napagti-tripan
Medyo Malabo yata ang mundo
Binabasura ng iba ang siya’y pinapangarap ko

Bida din po si Ian McKellan (Si Gandalf po!)

NZ Film Fest

Last weekend I ushered a number of shows at The Civic, all films featured at the New Zealand/Telecom Film Festival. It's the equivalent of the Manila Filmfest, except na international ang listing, walang awards night sa dulo , at walang parada sa Baywalk.

Click the title for the plot.

Conversations With My Gardner
- My favorite so far. Talky sya, medyo drama, medyo comedy. Its the type of movie you would want to invite your nililigawan(malaki ang chance na sagutin ka nya after), or your best buddies kung medyo nababading kayo sa isa't-isa (hehe). Kidding aside, it has the same effect as the coming of age movie Stand By Me, only you have two guys in their late 40s sharing and learning from life experiences.
Rating: Apat na palakpak (out of 5)

Death at a Funeral
- A typical Brit comedy, light, refreshing, totally amusing. Its the type of film na mapapatawa ka sumigaw ng "Ay ang gago, hehehehe!"... Buti na lang walang nakaintindi sa kin( Which reminds me, is there such a thing as Hehehehe sa mga puti? Hahaha lang ata, diba? Baka akala nila nabubulunan na ako). You should watch this with friends, para makatawa ka ng todo-bigay.
Rating: tatlot-kalahating palakpak(at isang mahabang piggy snort, snorkk...).

Manufactured Landscape
- Inde ko ito masyado napanood, kasi nilagay ako sa pinto (asar, um!). But from what I saw from the door(I left it ajar, enough to see half the screen), its a documentary about the industrial revolution in China. If you're a photographer, you'll love this because of the imagery. Medyo mahaba lang, about 2 hours, to prove his point (And he could have done this in about 45 mins). Then again I only saw "half" the film, so who am I to judge(aruy, sumakit ang ulo ko).
Rating: dalawang palakpak, at isang mahabang hikab.

Golden Door
- I was drawn to this film because of its plot, the fact that I'm an immigrant as well. The imagery reminds mo of the film Frida, with its surreal overtones(naks, maski ako inde ko naintindihan yun ah). OK lang, ika nga, so-so... Ika nga, pang DVD sya.
Rating: tatlong palakpak at kalahating pirated DVD

After the Wedding
- Walanghiya, hinid ko inexpect ito, pinagbabawal dapat ang mga pelikulang ganito kasi masyadong heavy drama. May mga part nga na para akong nakalulon ng bayabas.. nanikip ang dibdib ko at.. aaminin ko... napahikbi ako(aguy, napa-look up nga ako kasi tumutulo luha ko, nakakahiya sa mga guest). Pinagbre-break nga ako ng supervisor ko, kaso sabi ko "noo.. I want to know what happens to Jørgen..". Kung may kasalanan ka sa misis or GF, isama mo. Syento-por-syento, bati na kayo paglabas nyo(uyyy).
Rating: apat na palakpak at isang malakas na hikbi

Rescue Dawn
- Tangna (excuse my French), eto ang pinagbabawal talaga. Para syang B-movie na may konting budget(Na I suspect napunta lahat kay Christian Bale). Napanood nyo ba yung Megiddo: Omega Code 2? Medyo kalinya nya, medyo ka-atin-atin lang ng konti. Maski nga ayaw ko magbreak, napa-tea ako ng 30mins para mabawasan ang parusa. It's a case of bad amateur actors, a bad script, bad cinematography, led by a terrible lead star. Puro cliche'. Akala ko nga sa Pilipinas ginawa at hinihintay ko lumabas si Rez Cortez at si Bembol Rocco (as Henchman #1 and #2), at magkaroon bigla ng dance scene. Nalaman ko lang na hindi dahil, pag may tinatamaan ng granada, hindi sila napapata-tumbling. Bumilib lang ako kay Michale Bale kasi bawat eksena, papayat sya ng papayat!
Rating: Not even kalahating palakpak, at isang eye roll(sosyal).

Well, I worked for a total 12 hours yesterday, and totally knackered. I'm doing it again this weekend, and hope to see good ones like Eagle vs. Shark and I Served the King of England.

Hay, so many films, so little time. Sa next weekend uli!

Scene: After the Wedding

Scene: Death at a Funeral

Dapat iwasan: Rescue Dawn (Check out the bros,
mga Pilipino yan ehhh... aminin)

My 15 seconds with PM Helen Clark

In my short career here in New Zealand, I have been fortunate enough to meet and talk to some amazing people. One those is none other than the boss herself, Prime Minister Helen Clark.

Below is a transcription of this once in a lifetime, one-on-one interview, which actually happened not longer than two hours ago:

Tuny: Good Evening Madam Prime Minster, how are you tonight?

HC: Good evening, I'm excellent, you?

Tuny: Very well. Well Prime Minister, before anything else, thank you for hosting our president, I hope everything went well during her visit last week.

HC: Of course, she was nothing short of astonishing. I enjoyed her company.

Tuny: Well she is short and astonishing, este, anyway.... Would you like a programme for tonight's event?

HC: Yes, that's wonderful.

Tuny: Would you need anything else? Do you like your seat? Ice cream?

HC: Everything's fine, thank you.

Pagkatapos nun, umupo na sya. Well OK, inde ko actually tinanong sya about the visit, pero binigyan ko nga sya ng programme, and we made eye contact (Kamukha pala nya si Fanny Serrano!). Na-assign kasi ako as usher sa isang violin competition sa VIP section ng Auckland Town Hall, guest of honor sya eh.

Kala nyo noh. I love my ushering job. next week I'll be doing Swan Lake. Who knows who I'll meet next!

Helen Clark


Tita Fanny (Magkamukha sila noh?)

If I were a rich man (Ya ha deedle deedle)

If I were a rich man,
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
All day long I'd biddy biddy bum.
If I were a wealthy man.
I wouldn't have to work hard.
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
If I were a biddy biddy rich,
Yidle-diddle-didle-didle man.

-- Tevye, singing If I were a rich man in Fiddler on the Roof

***
I have two jobs right now here in Auckland. One is as a Marketing and Communications specialist, which is my 8AM-5PM, bread-and-butter job(It's also a job I need to keep to get my residency). The other is an ushering job for three of the best performing arts venues in New Zealand: the Aotea Center, the Auckland Town Hall, and The Civic.

Yes, ushering, as in showing people in the theatre and seating them. Minsan we also keep the place quiet, like asking people to turn-off phones or not take photos. I love my ushering job, since I get to watch concerts and theatre for free (and I even get paid NZ$12.30 an hour!). It's also a good first job if you're new in New Zealand, since the schedule is flexible (you are asked to work only when you are free, so you can still look for other jobs), and you get a lot of practice talking to the locals.

I never did two regular jobs in Manila since, personally, it wasn't worth it. Here my second job can pay for my weekly rent and groceries(around a hundred). This makes my real job/pay my savings. Cool eh?

In the past weeks, I've ushered the Auckland Symphony Orchestra, The NZ Philharmonic, local and international singers (one of whom reminded me of Martin Nievera), George Benson's farewell tour, and locally produced musicals. Tonight I was rostered to work Fiddler on the Roof, and I'm excited to see it. I heard it starred the original London cast, including Chaim Topol...

Well, to tell you the truth, ma! (That's short for malay ko! Hehehe). I have no idea what the story is about, nor do I know who this Topol is. Apart from hearing that its a good show, I'm totally clueless. They even say I should recognize some of the songs.

Here's also a link to Fiddler in Wikipedia, I should see it before I go tonight.